Congratulations Felicia Terry
Third Place Winner
The most painful but rewarding experience in my life
Some experiences in life can be painful, but also rewarding. In my life, I have encountered several of those acquisitions. However, the experience that I considered the most painful and rewarding in my life was the birth of my child. This has really put things in perspective for me. Some experiences are deliberate and some are unexpected, but whether planned or unplanned the situation can be painful, rewarding, or both.
After the unplanned conception of my child, within months, my life changed and I felt alone and sometimes so disconnected from reality, until I would sleep for days hoping that I would wake up from the reoccurring nightmare. The mere thought of me having to be responsible for someone else life besides my own, sickened me in ways beyond belief. The pain from being neglected from my child father, the thought of disappointing my mother, the feeling of guilt for wishing I was not pregnant, the carelessness for letting my grades slip, and the shame I felt for me even getting pregnant were some of the things that contributed to this painful experience.
From a physical aspect, birthing my son was very painful, but raising him has been even more rewarding. Another thing that made the experience painful was the long grueling hours of labor. It was a process I thought I was physically prepared for, and even looked forward to it. Soon, the excruciating pain that arose from hours upon hours of constant gut-wrenching contractions got the best of me. "Give me the strength is all I can remember me yelling". I somehow forgot the tiny miracle that awaited me and literally thought that death would probably be a relief. Luckily, there were only a few more pushes to me reaping the reward of my life.
In lieu of what could only be described as anything less than sheer torture, raising my son has by far, been the most rewarding experience ever. It has caused me to develop attributes that I have not always possessed. One of the most vital qualities that I have learned from motherhood has been patience. Even though it may take him take 30 minutes to tie his shoe every morning, I sit patiently and watch because not only is he learning to tie his shoes, he is also learning to be independent. Eating every single cheerio and having to drink all the milk even though he is 10 minutes late for school, reminds me of his innocence, because lack of his concept of time. The reward of raising my son allows me to have enough patience to sit and watch him take a bath until he is wrinkled. It does not matter that I have spent all day at work and school, the satisfaction that comes from watching him create a sudsy mustache and splashing water all over the floor that I must clean afterward is astonishing. Nothing in this world can ever take the place of the love I feel as I lift him out the tub into his towel. I feel that he knows he is the most precious gift that has been given to me.
To this end, my appreciation for motherhood could be viewed as nothing more than a true blessing. I believe children are definitely a blessing from GOD. Patience, forgiveness, understanding, unselfishness, and perseverance are qualities that I have learned from having my child. These are some things I did not possess as a young adult and I did not really understand the importance of them. All experiences should be used as a learning tool to grow and learn. Whether the situation starts off negative, let the reward be in the knowledge you obtain. I have learned that raising children is something that a parent mentally or physically cannot be prepared for. I am still learning because motherhood is a day-to-day process. Therefore, if someone asks the question "What is your most painful but rewarding experience", I will tell them childbirth and motherhood and that I would not change it for the world.
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